Simplicity

Right Here, Right Now

People can get so confused trying to see (or be) their True Nature, or trying to identify as awareness and not as a person, or trying to get rid of any sense of being a person, or trying to figure this all out mentally, or trying to have certain experiences they’ve either heard about or maybe remember having had years ago, or trying to be in a continuous state of thought-free mindfulness, or trying not to try, and so on.

And because we now have access to myriad different teachings and traditions, as well as to an abundance of folks outside of any tradition who say they are awake, and all of these diverse voices seem to be saying different, often contradictory things, it can get extremely confusing, but only to the thinking mind!

There’s nothing confusing about right here, right now. (And by right here, right now, I don’t mean the story about your present circumstances, I mean the immediacy of THIS here-now-experiencing: the caw-caw-caw of the crow, the felt-sense of breathing, the smell of rain, the taste of coffee—just this!)

I had a question from a reader that went, in part, as follows: "I had an awakening experience 10 years ago that introduced me to the beingness of what is. The grace lasted for a few months and then slowly the bliss started to wear off. I had a period of a few years where I tried to ‘get’ that again without success. Eventually the desperation disappeared...I had an experience for a few days ago that had me understand that this isn’t for me at all and it never was. I saw that this can not be understood or sought. But now I find myself trying to grapple with this again trying to yet again find what was lost. I understand that I have misidentified myself again so so wonder what I can do about it? [I know that] the beingness isn’t worried about the outcome at all. It knows that it is all good. I am asking for some clarity in all this if you will help me."

My response:

There are many subtleties on the pathless path, so clearing up the confusion that you describe is probably not going to happen in a Substack message. But briefly, I'd say first and foremost that (as I see it) being awake is not a special experience or a past or future event. It's all about right here, right now. And it's not about always feeling bliss. It's about the simplicity of this one bottomless moment here and now, just as it is, this undeniable presence, and seeing through and waking up from the confusion and delusion created by conceptual thought and by our entrenched habits of seeking, grasping and resisting.

This is an unending, lifelong (always NOW) awakening. And yes, EVERYTHING (without exception) is this undivided whole, and yet, there is a world of difference between being lost in delusion and being awake. As Shunryu Suzuki put it, "You're perfect just as you are, and there's room for improvement." You can't land on either side. The mind can only think in terms of apparently irreconcilable opposites (perfect or imperfect, practice or no practice, responsibility or choicelessness, it is or it isn't) and reality is whole and all-inclusive and cannot be captured by any conceptual map. Maps are helpful, but the map is not the territory (although mapping is something the territory is doing). Of course, there are many different perspectives under the nondual spiritual umbrella, and I can only share mine. I hope it helps. All the best, joan

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And here are a few paragraphs from a book-in-progress that could apply just as well to everything I write:

What do I most hope to convey in this book? That you are okay just as you are, that everything is sacred, that simply being alive is enough, that the perfect path is exactly the one you are on, that all paths lead nowhere (aka now/here), that there is always just this, that nothing could be other than it is in this moment, that there is no one running the show (no god, no you, no me), that there is immense freedom in no longer needing to know what this is or why it's here, in simply being what you actually cannot not be—this one bottomless moment, this present experiencing, this aware presence, here-now, just as it is.

The awakening journey, as I see it, is about discovering the love, the beauty, the joy, the wonder, the wholeness of life right here in each ordinary moment. And sometimes it's about feeling the pain, the grief, the anger, the sorrow that is part of being alive. It's also about seeing (in the moment, as it happens) how thought, along with the habitual movements of grasping and resisting, create needless suffering and confusion, and discovering the open, spacious, unbound aliveness and wholeness of here-now-being. This aliveness right here, right now is the heart of what this book is all about. And it is always already fully present, waiting to be noticed, enjoyed and explored.

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My suggestion to all of us: As often as it invites you, drop out of thinking and simply be here, just as you are. When I say “drop out of thinking,” I don’t mean you should try to stop thinking. Thoughts will pop up, and that’s no problem. But as best you can, don’t entertain them. Let them go. Return to simply being here, just as you are, seeing the shapes and colors around you, hearing the sounds, feeling the sensations in the body, tasting the food or the drink—i.e., present experiencing, exactly as it is. Notice the subtleties of light, texture, color, sensation. Feel the presence that you are and that everything is. Simply enjoy! It’s not about making anything happen, or having a special experience, or getting somewhere, or getting rid of anything, or figuring anything out. Just simply being this present experiencing, this aware presence, just as it is. (Of course, there is no way not to be this here-now-presence, for it is truly all there is, and everything is included, but it can seemingly be overlooked).

This opening and relaxing, shifting attention from thought to presence, is easiest when we’re sitting quietly, not doing anything else. But it can also happen during any of our daily activities, not as some kind of effortful practice that we have to strain to do, but simply as a form of exploration, enjoyment and discovery. There’s no way to get it wrong.

You might be drawn to explore whether you can actually find a boundary where “inside” turns into “outside,” or if you can find a thinker who is authoring the thoughts. You might be curious to watch closely as decisions and choices unfold to see if there is anyone in control. Don’t believe anything anyone else says, but look and listen and see for yourself. See what you find!

Awakening is not something “you” have or don’t have. It’s not an attainment. It’s not about “you” (the character in the story of your life) crossing some finish line (in the story) and becoming “an awakened one.” Awakening is simply what remains when confusion falls away, not forever after, not once-and-for-all, but NOW. It’s not about “you” never experiencing confusion or delusion again. Confusion and delusion are part of the fabric of life. Consciousness loses itself in its own creations. None of it is really personal. Awakening is what remains when all this thinking about “you” disappears, not once-and-for-all or forever after, but NOW. What remains is just the green of the grass, the cool breeze on the skin, the song of a bird, the sounds of traffic, the taste of tea, the smell of rain, the reading of these words, the aware presence being and beholding it all. Just this! Simple, simple, simple.

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And finally, for your enjoyment, here is a relatively short video of one of my favorite Buddhist teachers, James Low, beautifully expressing impermanence, interdependence, relationality, unresolvability and nonsubstantiality:

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Love to all…