Joan, you'd be insufferable without your suffering. If it wasn't for all the messiness you're willing to show us - the coffee cycles, the fingerbiting, the sciatica flare-ups, the whole honest picture of what it's like to live in an aging body - without all that you'd just be another comfortable person telling us how to live. That's what makes your spiritual insights feel real instead of like spiritual theater. It's not that suffering makes you wise, it's that you're willing to be the whole messy thing at once instead of pretending you've transcended it all.
Hi Carol...I would distinguish between mindful attention or awareness (seeing the patterns of thought, being aware of them) on the one hand, and hypnotic involvement in the storylines (being captured and hypnotized by them, completely believing the content). The first is liberating in my experience, and the second is our suffering. So I'm not sure what you mean by "feeding the mental noise with our attention," especially given the content of this post. Because in my experience, awareness is what transforms, not ignorance (or ignoring).
Some teachings do recommend completely ignoring mind activity and this may be the teaching that resonates with you. I would say that for most humans, at least in my experience, this simply doesn't work. The thought patterns continue to run the show, the person continues to be in a hypnotic trance acting out conditioned beliefs, but they simply don't realize it—and even apparently thought-free "higher spiritual states" can be a kind of trance. So it gets very subtle. I find that the ability to see thoughts for what they are is crucial.
I do, of course, resonate with and invite a deliberate shift in attention from obsessive thinking to sensing. The sensory world experientially reveals what the thoughts often conceal, namely fluidity, impermanence, the seamlessness of apparent multiplicity, nondual wholeness, unresolvability, etc. In other words, conceptual maps are useful and necessary, but if we live in them, that's suffering. And maybe this is all you meant?
I would add that what I might call over-zealous mindfulness can also become a kind of fixation driven by curative fantasies and the "little me" endlessly trying to perfect itself.
Thank you for sharing that. I listened to the AI voice while walking on the beach (Jersey shore), and although I'm sure I did not get as much out of it was I would have, given the amount of worthwhile content out there and my very slow reading speed, I probably would never have read it at all if there weren't that alternative, as lacking as it is. Do I need to listen to as much as I possibly can? No, of course, so that may be my own addiction of wanting to take in as much helpful content as possible, even if it's in a superficial way...
I also resonated with your musings about coffee and health. As someone with a chronic disease, I've tried to tweak my diet quite a bit, and bought into this idea that certain foods are so "bad" that even having a tiny amount will be detrimental. When I do experience some kind of pain or discomfort that I feel my be related to my condition (but have no actual idea if it IS related), my mind then goes to what did I eat most recently, trying to find a "culprit" for the pain, but in the end, I've been "perfect" for years at a time and this doesn't solve the issue, and I'll be "bad" for a week and don't seem to have any repercussions. So it's allowed me to let go a lot of what I consider to be a certain level of "magical thinking" that a particular food caused a particular pain right after eating it. For sure, there are people for who there are very direct consequences for eating a food, such as allergies, celiac, diabetics, etc., but my chronic disease is not digestive, it's heart disease. And the "bad" foods are not even considered "bad" by a majority of doctors but by a tiny niche of very strict vegan doctors.
I've lucked out with caffeine and coffee in that I'm not addicted and have no affects going on and off of it, so I alternate quite a bit depending on level of energy and just whether I feel the need for caffeine. I only have one cup of caffeinated coffee early in the morning because I don't want it interfering with sleep. I will say that based on my understanding, you can gain most if not all of the purported health benefits of coffee from decaf, so if you don't mind the slightly less tasty version, it might be another option.
Finally, we are here this week with my 94-year-old mom, who is doing ok, healthwise, except that she has slowed down significantly in the last few years, including having quite a bit less stamina and mobility. She uses a walker, but this year we've been taking her around much more in a wheelchair. Her sleep is terrible and she has neuropathy and digestive issues that make things much more difficult. To be honest I'm not sure we'll be able to take her here next year given how exhausted she is now getting with so little walking or just mostly getting wheeled around. Her alertness in general seems less, as well as her mental sharpness, although perhaps this is mostly due to her exhaustion, dealing with a new environment, and not being used to spending hours out of her house where she spends a lot of time sitting on the couch watching TV. It does make me reflect more and more that I have less and less time left with her, but of course I'm grateful for having so many years with her already.
Joan … Your openness, honesty, and vulnerability teach us that such qualities are the forge where the unreal burns away, revealing our authentic selves, which is Spirit. Thank you for sharing these wonderful posts. And, oh I miss coffee, too ….
I so appreciate your musings on Bodies…I am in another stage of my life assessment and I recently drew up a list of the “who am I’s” as you did in the article. We have much in common. And at 88 I am assessing (one more time) the question “who am I and what am I doing here?” It has been a life long search. Blessings….
I know…I have enjoyed our contact over the years..am now in Portland in a senior living complex and closer to my eldest son and his family. All good, but I miss my Ashland friends.
I share your interest in YouTube. There are many riches there, but it can become addictive if one is not careful.
Your writing also is rich. I've been thinking of starting a journal and it occurred to me that your writing has the feel of a journal.
As a long-time Zen student, I've had the naive notion for too long that meditation is a cure-all. After all, if everything is empty and without substance why bother with trying to figure out the self. Dogen said to study the self is to forget the self. But even though mud settles to the bottom in a still pond, it doesn't go away. I think it's helpful, or even necessary, to look at what's down there in the spirit of inquiry, not judgmental. Does this make sense?
I've been struggling with sciatica recently and found helpful exercises in this YouTube channel by a Canadian physiologist.
I adore your writing Joan. It’s like a gentle roll down the river as I ease into my morning 🤍
Joan, you'd be insufferable without your suffering. If it wasn't for all the messiness you're willing to show us - the coffee cycles, the fingerbiting, the sciatica flare-ups, the whole honest picture of what it's like to live in an aging body - without all that you'd just be another comfortable person telling us how to live. That's what makes your spiritual insights feel real instead of like spiritual theater. It's not that suffering makes you wise, it's that you're willing to be the whole messy thing at once instead of pretending you've transcended it all.
Gracias ❤️
I love what you say and how you say it! Thanks for all you share. So wonderful
As long as we keep feeding the mental noise with our attention, it remains alive and well
Hi Carol...I would distinguish between mindful attention or awareness (seeing the patterns of thought, being aware of them) on the one hand, and hypnotic involvement in the storylines (being captured and hypnotized by them, completely believing the content). The first is liberating in my experience, and the second is our suffering. So I'm not sure what you mean by "feeding the mental noise with our attention," especially given the content of this post. Because in my experience, awareness is what transforms, not ignorance (or ignoring).
Some teachings do recommend completely ignoring mind activity and this may be the teaching that resonates with you. I would say that for most humans, at least in my experience, this simply doesn't work. The thought patterns continue to run the show, the person continues to be in a hypnotic trance acting out conditioned beliefs, but they simply don't realize it—and even apparently thought-free "higher spiritual states" can be a kind of trance. So it gets very subtle. I find that the ability to see thoughts for what they are is crucial.
I do, of course, resonate with and invite a deliberate shift in attention from obsessive thinking to sensing. The sensory world experientially reveals what the thoughts often conceal, namely fluidity, impermanence, the seamlessness of apparent multiplicity, nondual wholeness, unresolvability, etc. In other words, conceptual maps are useful and necessary, but if we live in them, that's suffering. And maybe this is all you meant?
I would add that what I might call over-zealous mindfulness can also become a kind of fixation driven by curative fantasies and the "little me" endlessly trying to perfect itself.
Just wonderful- grounding and interesting writing thank you
Thank you for sharing that. I listened to the AI voice while walking on the beach (Jersey shore), and although I'm sure I did not get as much out of it was I would have, given the amount of worthwhile content out there and my very slow reading speed, I probably would never have read it at all if there weren't that alternative, as lacking as it is. Do I need to listen to as much as I possibly can? No, of course, so that may be my own addiction of wanting to take in as much helpful content as possible, even if it's in a superficial way...
I also resonated with your musings about coffee and health. As someone with a chronic disease, I've tried to tweak my diet quite a bit, and bought into this idea that certain foods are so "bad" that even having a tiny amount will be detrimental. When I do experience some kind of pain or discomfort that I feel my be related to my condition (but have no actual idea if it IS related), my mind then goes to what did I eat most recently, trying to find a "culprit" for the pain, but in the end, I've been "perfect" for years at a time and this doesn't solve the issue, and I'll be "bad" for a week and don't seem to have any repercussions. So it's allowed me to let go a lot of what I consider to be a certain level of "magical thinking" that a particular food caused a particular pain right after eating it. For sure, there are people for who there are very direct consequences for eating a food, such as allergies, celiac, diabetics, etc., but my chronic disease is not digestive, it's heart disease. And the "bad" foods are not even considered "bad" by a majority of doctors but by a tiny niche of very strict vegan doctors.
I've lucked out with caffeine and coffee in that I'm not addicted and have no affects going on and off of it, so I alternate quite a bit depending on level of energy and just whether I feel the need for caffeine. I only have one cup of caffeinated coffee early in the morning because I don't want it interfering with sleep. I will say that based on my understanding, you can gain most if not all of the purported health benefits of coffee from decaf, so if you don't mind the slightly less tasty version, it might be another option.
Finally, we are here this week with my 94-year-old mom, who is doing ok, healthwise, except that she has slowed down significantly in the last few years, including having quite a bit less stamina and mobility. She uses a walker, but this year we've been taking her around much more in a wheelchair. Her sleep is terrible and she has neuropathy and digestive issues that make things much more difficult. To be honest I'm not sure we'll be able to take her here next year given how exhausted she is now getting with so little walking or just mostly getting wheeled around. Her alertness in general seems less, as well as her mental sharpness, although perhaps this is mostly due to her exhaustion, dealing with a new environment, and not being used to spending hours out of her house where she spends a lot of time sitting on the couch watching TV. It does make me reflect more and more that I have less and less time left with her, but of course I'm grateful for having so many years with her already.
Joan … Your openness, honesty, and vulnerability teach us that such qualities are the forge where the unreal burns away, revealing our authentic selves, which is Spirit. Thank you for sharing these wonderful posts. And, oh I miss coffee, too ….
I so appreciate your musings on Bodies…I am in another stage of my life assessment and I recently drew up a list of the “who am I’s” as you did in the article. We have much in common. And at 88 I am assessing (one more time) the question “who am I and what am I doing here?” It has been a life long search. Blessings….
Good to hear from you. I remember you from long ago here in Ashland.
I know…I have enjoyed our contact over the years..am now in Portland in a senior living complex and closer to my eldest son and his family. All good, but I miss my Ashland friends.
Hola ¡En lo de sempre, sempre hi ha coses noves
Hi ha tantes sensibilitats diferències distincions ,,
Hi tot tan igual tan senzill tant íntim el mateix Cord, corazón.
Ara aquí viu, amb tot això i més, més del que podem veure. Un immens moviment de tot amb tot i jo com un altre
El viure és una immensitat ¡
Hi Joan,
I share your interest in YouTube. There are many riches there, but it can become addictive if one is not careful.
Your writing also is rich. I've been thinking of starting a journal and it occurred to me that your writing has the feel of a journal.
As a long-time Zen student, I've had the naive notion for too long that meditation is a cure-all. After all, if everything is empty and without substance why bother with trying to figure out the self. Dogen said to study the self is to forget the self. But even though mud settles to the bottom in a still pond, it doesn't go away. I think it's helpful, or even necessary, to look at what's down there in the spirit of inquiry, not judgmental. Does this make sense?
I've been struggling with sciatica recently and found helpful exercises in this YouTube channel by a Canadian physiologist.
https://youtu.be/-MRj3ukHUaM?si=P803jaUPZTPXaOjx
Take care,
Jose