I “ate up” your beautiful writing and then the writings and talk you suggested- and probably I will seek out the Slow Horses series you mention and will find it surely delicious.
However- I’m beginning to suspect all this reading and teachings are somehow keeping whatever “I” am in a holding pattern- not sure about this- just a feeling.
When I read your words, Joan- I feel a sense of finding water in a desert- or firm ground in deep mud-but- is this spiritual materialism?
What are the teachings? More to cling to? Am I clinging or being transported to a farther shore?
Should I stop reading and just spend more time in practice? My mind has me in a beautiful grip-
If you answer- your words will be placed at the upper most place in my “hyperstack” mind and it won’t mind at all.
I bow to whatever you or this is - apparently boundless and empty and arising to without being asked.
Thanks for turning me on to present isness. It seems to take courage to question my second hand information. I have the guts to let it just be. It does seem that the universe is user-friendly to me so that’s really helpful.
Small world. Hooked to Slow Horses also, reading The ten thousand things and just finished your Death The end of Improvement. Your book has been illuminating. A sincere and deeply greeting from Madrid, Spain
When you ask, where is love, I'm not sure where you are finding it missing. ???
As I say in the article: "What matters most to me is simply being alive, finding the beauty in ordinary life, enjoying what is, and beholding it all (when possible) from the perspective of wholeness or unconditional love, seeing that it all belongs, that it all goes together, that it cannot be otherwise in each moment from how it is."
Or as my friend Darryl Bailey says: "At some point, the heart may open to the totally indefinable, unpredictable, and often unwanted movement that life is. Love is that openness of heart."
Again, great questions. Here are some responses that may or may not be helpful:
I'd say, there are answers to practical questions such as why the car won't start, and there are answers to certain scientific questions such as why apples fall from the tree or whether the earth is a flat plain, but when we start asking what is the fundamental nature of reality, why is the universe here, what is the purpose and meaning of life, what happens after death, and other questions of this nature, any answers we come to in the form of information, knowledge, ideas or beliefs will be subject to doubt. We simply don't really know.
But sometimes, if we remain with the openness of not knowing and the wondering space opened by the question, we may discover something that isn't exactly an "answer" in the sense of knowledge, but rather, something that might be described as the end of needing an answer, the end of finding the question itself meaningful. We might come upon the joy, the wonder, the love that is right here, needing no answers.
My friend and main teacher Toni Packer often "taught" in questions. Instead of making declarative assertions (e.g., "There is no self"), she might say, "What is it that feels defensive? What is this 'me'? Can you find it?" She'd open a space for direct looking and listening, rather than dispensing some traditional answer or the answer she had found. She didn't want us to believe her. She wanted to encourage us to look and listen and discover things directly for ourselves. And she'd always say that anything she said could be questioned or taken further. She invited open listening, wonderment, not knowing, being awake in this moment without the closure of authority or belief. If you asked her a question, she wouldn't just rattle off "the answer," but instead, she'd look into it herself "from scratch" as she often said, "freshly," as if for the first time. It was always possible to see something new, and to question our conclusions.
It is to this openness that I'm endeavoring to point. Whether reading my writing or any other writing of this kind is helpful to you or is another kind of addictive movement is something only you can discover, not once and for all, but in each moment here and now. The "same" activity can be liberating in one moment and a form of avoidance in another. There are no final answers about what nourishes us (in the realm of food, or in the realm of spirituality, or in any other realm). What nourishes us one day may be toxic another day. It requires ongoing sensitivity, listening awareness, an open mind, a curious spirit, a willingness to not know, to have nothing to grasp. That is what I'm inviting.
I’ve been walking for years on top of grief, often through it and occasionally I fall into a deep hole of sadness with quicksand at the bottom. The only way out has been through poetry and dharma and great teachers- like you. Is it ok to have a scaffold or should I let myself fall through the bottom-? if there is a bottom….i don’t know anything- anymore but I remember thinking I did.
Surely- love is never destroyed by death? All the energy remains-right?
Here- now- always.
Hold on to the line- ok- like in Mission Impossible-dangling above the void.
Thanks Joan. More and more I’ve been in a place of not knowing and realizing that the mind is innately contradictory as is all of existence. Is this growth or simply old age. Who the hell knows.
I'm not a fan of Dogma in any forms, but I like learning about different philosophies and thoughts. I have found by following my own inner guidance that most philosophies usually boil down to a few core fundamentals, just said in different ways.
Hey Joan...I had, by chance, just read Robert's Who Am I article before reading this one...it is with lightning speed that experience is followed by initial ideas and the beginnings of interpretation/explanation. To the extent that where one ends and the other begins is, I think, not definable. We can, however, certainly notice once the ideas "about" an experience have become more complex...and a loosening of attachment to these stories is, for me, a positive. Thanks as always for provoking self-questioning.
There’s a pointing here, perhaps unintended, about the preciousness of Truth (or any of the capitalized words).
We’re wise to be cautious about what we label as Truth. Commoditized truth is no truth at all.
I wager that this and all the other capitalized words are more like paper thin porcelain jars, not the grain silos we imagine them to be.
Careful, rare handling and wise placement are what’s needed.
I “ate up” your beautiful writing and then the writings and talk you suggested- and probably I will seek out the Slow Horses series you mention and will find it surely delicious.
However- I’m beginning to suspect all this reading and teachings are somehow keeping whatever “I” am in a holding pattern- not sure about this- just a feeling.
When I read your words, Joan- I feel a sense of finding water in a desert- or firm ground in deep mud-but- is this spiritual materialism?
What are the teachings? More to cling to? Am I clinging or being transported to a farther shore?
Should I stop reading and just spend more time in practice? My mind has me in a beautiful grip-
If you answer- your words will be placed at the upper most place in my “hyperstack” mind and it won’t mind at all.
I bow to whatever you or this is - apparently boundless and empty and arising to without being asked.
Currently in the lost and found-
🙏
Beautiful questions!
Thank you, Joan, for your beautiful generosity.
It is always much appreciated 🙏 ❤️
I hope physical therapy helps your back fracture. 🙏
As always, thank you for shedding light, and freedom from worrying about
Not Knowing What This Is.
Love it‼️‼️‼️
Thanks for turning me on to present isness. It seems to take courage to question my second hand information. I have the guts to let it just be. It does seem that the universe is user-friendly to me so that’s really helpful.
Bob M
Small world. Hooked to Slow Horses also, reading The ten thousand things and just finished your Death The end of Improvement. Your book has been illuminating. A sincere and deeply greeting from Madrid, Spain
Lovely, as always.
Love.
Where is love?
Seriously.
‘Cause “I LOVE”. Your sharing
When you ask, where is love, I'm not sure where you are finding it missing. ???
As I say in the article: "What matters most to me is simply being alive, finding the beauty in ordinary life, enjoying what is, and beholding it all (when possible) from the perspective of wholeness or unconditional love, seeing that it all belongs, that it all goes together, that it cannot be otherwise in each moment from how it is."
Or as my friend Darryl Bailey says: "At some point, the heart may open to the totally indefinable, unpredictable, and often unwanted movement that life is. Love is that openness of heart."
Check out my last post: https://joantollifson.substack.com/p/gratitude-and-suffering.
LOVE is all around!!! Thank you for being here. ❤️
Thank you.
Joan, so glad you will be publishing some of these Substacks in a book
I just bought Bare Bones Meditation
❤️
Are there no answers?
Are questions answers?
🙏
Again, great questions. Here are some responses that may or may not be helpful:
I'd say, there are answers to practical questions such as why the car won't start, and there are answers to certain scientific questions such as why apples fall from the tree or whether the earth is a flat plain, but when we start asking what is the fundamental nature of reality, why is the universe here, what is the purpose and meaning of life, what happens after death, and other questions of this nature, any answers we come to in the form of information, knowledge, ideas or beliefs will be subject to doubt. We simply don't really know.
But sometimes, if we remain with the openness of not knowing and the wondering space opened by the question, we may discover something that isn't exactly an "answer" in the sense of knowledge, but rather, something that might be described as the end of needing an answer, the end of finding the question itself meaningful. We might come upon the joy, the wonder, the love that is right here, needing no answers.
My friend and main teacher Toni Packer often "taught" in questions. Instead of making declarative assertions (e.g., "There is no self"), she might say, "What is it that feels defensive? What is this 'me'? Can you find it?" She'd open a space for direct looking and listening, rather than dispensing some traditional answer or the answer she had found. She didn't want us to believe her. She wanted to encourage us to look and listen and discover things directly for ourselves. And she'd always say that anything she said could be questioned or taken further. She invited open listening, wonderment, not knowing, being awake in this moment without the closure of authority or belief. If you asked her a question, she wouldn't just rattle off "the answer," but instead, she'd look into it herself "from scratch" as she often said, "freshly," as if for the first time. It was always possible to see something new, and to question our conclusions.
It is to this openness that I'm endeavoring to point. Whether reading my writing or any other writing of this kind is helpful to you or is another kind of addictive movement is something only you can discover, not once and for all, but in each moment here and now. The "same" activity can be liberating in one moment and a form of avoidance in another. There are no final answers about what nourishes us (in the realm of food, or in the realm of spirituality, or in any other realm). What nourishes us one day may be toxic another day. It requires ongoing sensitivity, listening awareness, an open mind, a curious spirit, a willingness to not know, to have nothing to grasp. That is what I'm inviting.
🙏❤️
Yes- this is the response I needed. Thank you-
I’ve been walking for years on top of grief, often through it and occasionally I fall into a deep hole of sadness with quicksand at the bottom. The only way out has been through poetry and dharma and great teachers- like you. Is it ok to have a scaffold or should I let myself fall through the bottom-? if there is a bottom….i don’t know anything- anymore but I remember thinking I did.
Surely- love is never destroyed by death? All the energy remains-right?
Here- now- always.
Hold on to the line- ok- like in Mission Impossible-dangling above the void.
I’m going deeper.
I bow- good night.
❤️🙏
Thanks Joan. More and more I’ve been in a place of not knowing and realizing that the mind is innately contradictory as is all of existence. Is this growth or simply old age. Who the hell knows.
Love to you Joan...thank you ❤
I'm not a fan of Dogma in any forms, but I like learning about different philosophies and thoughts. I have found by following my own inner guidance that most philosophies usually boil down to a few core fundamentals, just said in different ways.
Fabulous!
Hey Joan...I had, by chance, just read Robert's Who Am I article before reading this one...it is with lightning speed that experience is followed by initial ideas and the beginnings of interpretation/explanation. To the extent that where one ends and the other begins is, I think, not definable. We can, however, certainly notice once the ideas "about" an experience have become more complex...and a loosening of attachment to these stories is, for me, a positive. Thanks as always for provoking self-questioning.