36 Comments
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susandeeley@iinet.net.au's avatar

I so needed to read this, now. Thanks Joan, your writing is always so relatable.

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Jordan Bates's avatar

Thank you, Joan! Your raw & vulnerable personal reflections are so valuable. For me these add a richness to your art that is missing when some teachers share only an ‘impersonal’ message about ‘no one being here’ etc 🙏🏼❤️‍🔥

I love the way the etheric cathedrals of different traditions and teachings can co-exist and even seemingly contradict each other without actually being ‘in the way’ of each other at all. Room for everything in this openness -- and the openness seems to be the golden thread weaving through and unifying all the great teachings and traditions. The openness, as well as the brave love of the fragile human heart 🫀❤️‍🔥

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Philip Marvin's avatar

Thank you for your constant openness Joan.

After all the words, and you use many, there is only the deep conviction of Love as the meaning- full presence in the Heart of hearts.

Not knowing, as innocence opens up a space

where all is possible and spontaneous expression may emerge...or not. The feeling that someone is here is fine but simply limited. The limited tipping into the limitless

Is the name of the game. Does this matter?. The response here for now is yes.....and no.

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Joseph M. Frawley's avatar

You write about the presence of god here. Do you mean a creator deity?

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Joan Tollifson's avatar

No. I don't mean anything separate from you and me and this very moment. For me, God is another word for awareness, presence, unconditional love, wholeness, unicity, intelligence-energy, being and becoming, the Heart, Here-Now, radiance, light, the dazzling darkness, the zero on which all other numbers depend, the Tao, the Self that Advaita speaks of, the germinal dark, pure potentiality. No words can capture it.

I know the word God is easily misunderstood and can be triggering for survivors of oppressive religions, and I know it can mean different things to different people, but I love the word God and sometimes can't help myself from using it, because it feels both personal and infinite, and it resonates and comes from deep in my heart and arises naturally here.

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Joseph M. Frawley's avatar

Thank you for your reply. But I am now more confused. All those words you think of as synonyms actually point to many different concepts. If this was not the case, we would not need so many different words. Is it intellectually honest to equate these concepts as definitionally equivalent?

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Joan Tollifson's avatar

I approach this more experientially rather than intellectually. Yes, each of those words has a different flavor, maybe highlights a different aspect of this living reality, and scholars can argue endlessly over the differences between the Advaita formulation, the Buddhist one, the Taoist one, the Christian one, and all the ten million subdivisions within each of those. We can find differences, or we can find common ground. I'm generally more interested in the common ground and the direct experiencing, rather than mentally nitpicking over different concepts. I was trying to respond to your question, hoping that one or more of those words, or maybe all of them together, might give you a felt-sense of what I mean by the word God. Obviously, it didn't work. But I'm absolutely fine with you not resonating with that word or giving it a different meaning than I do. No problem.

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Susan Wright's avatar

Your entire piece today brought me this as I prepare for and live a new direction in my life.

But it’s a curious thing I think to observe what it is that moves us along that says it’s time to change or not. If we pay attention to this current it can in practical ways cause upset and turmoil as in a move I am making…or if we ignore it, it lays itself in some other hole and turns dark. Sometimes it’s all a good excited flow. And that’s nice while it lasts.

I appreciate the quote by Agnes Martin.

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Joan Tollifson's avatar

As I see it, as Agnes says, there really are no mistakes. Sometimes energy is high and clear and movement feels flowing...we hit a home run. Sometimes we seem to be in a dark hole, we seem to have lost touch with the flow (although actually, this is impossible since we ARE the flow), and we strike out (relatively speaking), and the apparent failure is the fertile ground for a new blossoming. (I'm mixing many metaphors, I know). Good luck with your new direction.

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John's avatar

Thank you for the reminder, Joan: "Just as it is."

I find that I keep making exceptions, and then of course suffering comes.

There is actually such depth to those words:

1. JUST as it is

2. Just as it IS

I find that I either don't fully accept what is present (JUST as it is), or that I try to accept the word or concept for whatever is happening (i.e. not the direct experience but the interpretation, or cognitive re-presentation of the experience). But with your help and with a little digging and persistence this is becoming clearer and clearer, thank you.

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Joan Tollifson's avatar

Beautifully said. And, of course, even non-acceptance is just this. Helpful to notice it. But also to notice that everything is already being accepted in the sense that it's all here. Awareness accepts it all, both the movement of acceptance and the movement of rejection. 🙏

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John's avatar

Yesss! Thank you, Joan. I keep overlooking that. 😊

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TonyC's avatar

You're always there Joan just when a reminder needs to be taken in.

It's as though the great spirit hears us and directs us to you to again point the way.

Many blessings go gently with curiosity 🙏 ♥️

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bill r's avatar

Seek and you will find...Just This🙂❣️🙏

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Peter Reinartz's avatar

So simple again and again, and so wonderful that we can’t get really lost (although we might feel or think so) …. and so absolutely wonderful we are here now, Thank you Joan 🙏

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Carol Hayward's avatar

Simply this!

😊 🙏 ❤

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Carol Hayward's avatar

Thanks so much for your beautiful candid expressions which resonate deeply. Every challenge is a gift … an endless waking … a new dive into the Mystery.

Namaste

🙏

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Pablo Miller, PhD's avatar

Joan, I am so sorry about your back. And so grateful for how you make your suffering helpful for others by sharing it in the context of your nondual understandings and joys.

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Bill Crompton's avatar

Once again, you have opened the prison that is my mind. Thank you for allowing me to walk in the light of day another time.❤️

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Myq Kaplan's avatar

dear joan,

thank you for just this.

love

myq

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Mark Miller's avatar

When I search for something other than this- what I am- I abandon everything I am. And what have I given up? This quiet Sunday morning. My fading flower garden. My second cup of coffee. A chance to read your words and be reminded- again- of the wisdom of gratitude.

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Cathy Hasty's avatar

Annie Lamont said when you are telling the truth you are close to God- thank you

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