Just plain wonderful, puts a skip in your step. "Those little moments that make you dance," as Daisetz Suzuki put it. This lightness and clarity that comes from welcoming emptiness that Greg Goode calls 'Joyful irony.' Not wanting to say too much and spoil all the fun, i'll say no more. Thank you Joan.
Thank you Rupert, for your beautiful and eloquent rendering of the notion of dukkha: to judge and/or resist the moment as it presents itself to you right now is the underlying source of all suffering.
And thank you Joan, for so eloquently walking us through how the concept can be slippery (e.g. invoking it to justify another drink), paradoxical (e.g. impossible to get it wrong), manifest in a myriad of contexts ( e.g. meditation, raising a child, farming) and yet, by 'leaping clear of the many and the one', it is so "simple, simple, simple". Much love....
Tot és igual no passa res,, quasi res no passa res,,
y es que estem especialitzats a que ens passin coses. No sabem estar amb el quotidià, ens sembla intranscendent massa quotidià,, tenen que passar coses i, els imprevistos els que ens causen por els compromisos el pervenir son els nostres preferits
Tendim a pensar malament de lo que no entenen. hi ja m'imagino que veus això pensaràs que coi deu voler dir qui pot ser?
jo ni més ni menys més o menys com tu o l'altre un misteri més com tu o l'altre.
Indeed Joan - the key point in my opinion being that we cannot, as you say, simply force a 'no' to become a 'yes' through will-power, and it is a lived 'yes' - not a spoken 'yes'....this 'yes' is a momentary perspective, and is as close as we can come to direct experiencing (although there will ALWAYS be some degree of interpretation of sensory stimuli, happening almost immediately as an integral part of the interplay between brain and sense organs - without this, we would not be able to perceive anything).
Joan, last week, I was in a dialogue where someone suggested saying yes to everything, just surrendering. As I considered it, I remembered times in my life when I said no that seemed right, aligned with who I was. I also imagined situations in the world today that I would not say yes to. Someone else said saying no was just protecting identity and a sense of control. I thought there could be truth in that, but, whether we say yes or no, we're not in control either way. Reading your words today is helpful to me, seeing that imposing a yes is saying no to your no. And, in Zen, "dualities are always conceptual, never actual." There is just what is happening. And awareness is always present to, and saying yes to, that.
Thanks, Dawn. A key point I was trying to make is that sometimes, as in the case of stopping a child in the moment from running out into the oncoming traffic, a ‘NO!’ is a totally healthy, instinctual move in a real-life situation. But often this healthy, instinctual response gets carried over into the psychological realm in defense of a mirage(my self image, the illusory separate self), and that’s the ‘no’ we’re talking about here—defending that mirage from something that, in this moment, is only an imaginary threat. "Situations in the world" or "What if my child were running out into the street?" when we're merely imagining them or thinking about them are like that. And the point isn't that we might not be moved to take action in response to world events, but we're simply acknowledging (saying yes) to the fact of their existence. This is how it is. Meeting the reality with awareness (love). That brings forth a noticeably different response from reacting with fear, anger, hate, etc.
It's true that the illusory separate self in not in control, and that's a very liberating realization, but at the same time, if we land on "there is no choice," that's not entirely right either. We can't ever fit reality into a concept ("free will" or "no free will"). Reality is more elusive, slipperier. We don't want to disempower ourselves with a concept. So what I found interesting in exploring this "practice" was the way it so quickly illuminated all the ways I was saying "no" to what is. Just seeing them is action enough. Awareness is the transformative power. 🙏
Yes, I can see that a "yes practice" could be illuminating and that just seeing one's tendencies is action enough. But in the world of yes and no, if we say no to one thing, we're saying yes to another, right?
Well, not really. That kind of misses the point. But hey, I wrote this piece simply because someone mentioned this in a Zoom meeting, and I was curious and tried it out, and was then moved to share what I found. I wasn't trying to recommend or advocate or push this practice in any way.
Thank-you Joan as always for your inspiration. Your words have given me the space to notice how 'No' often governs my life. the last few days I now realise after an awful confrontation, that I became so earnestly embodied in No I didn't even see the simplicity of 'Yes' I could say a lot more but for now 'Yes' is the healing balm for the heal digging child ego. So Much appreciation for your wisdom Thank you Joan
I know how much you've enjoyed delving into spiritual and nondual literature from basically everywhere, so you might find Singer's book interesting. Some people regard it as a modern classic in the world of spiritual literature. Here's the publisher's description (which is of course replete with marketing language; the actual book lacks that tone): "In The Surrender Experiment, Michael A. Singer tells the extraordinary story of what happened when, after a deep spiritual awakening, he decided to relinquish his personal fears and desires and simply let life unfold before him. Singer shares how this pivotal decision to embrace the flow of life led him to extraordinary success, sustained him through times of crisis, and allowed him to cultivate profound inner peace—whether as a young man pursuing a life of solitude in the woods, the founder of a thriving spiritual community in Florida, or the CEO of a billion-dollar medical software company. As he takes you through his grand experiment, Singer demonstrates how surrender is the key to a peaceful and harmonious life. His remarkable and unexpected personal experiences will challenge your deepest assumptions, teaching you how to stop making the outside world conform to your desires, let go of the need to control everything, and place your trust in life’s perfection."
As for YES MAN, it's a comedy where Jim Carrey plays a chronically frustrated and depressed man who accidentally stumbles into a self-help movement based on forcing yourself to say "yes" to absolutely any proposition or opportunity that crosses your path. Naturally, much chaos ensues for him, but in the end he has some amazing experiences and realizes the whole thing really has led him to a place of centeredness and authenticity that he couldn't have previously imagined. Not a bad movie overall. And it features Terence Stamp playing the leader of the semi-cult-like self-help movement, so that's a definite bonus.
Some dialogue from Stamp's character:
"You're dead, Carl. You say no to life, and therefore you're not living. You make up excuses to the people around you and to yourself. You're stuck in the same dead-end job you have been for years. You don't have a girlfriend, you don't have anything close to a girlfriend, and you lost the love of your life because she couldn't be with someone who didn't live theirs."
Just plain wonderful, puts a skip in your step. "Those little moments that make you dance," as Daisetz Suzuki put it. This lightness and clarity that comes from welcoming emptiness that Greg Goode calls 'Joyful irony.' Not wanting to say too much and spoil all the fun, i'll say no more. Thank you Joan.
Just reading this connected me with a recent sadness, an old sorrow. Undefended, there were unusual tears.
It wasn't bad.
aaaaaaaahhhhhhh . . . yes
Yes! Hallelujah, divine Sister!
(You've awakened my gospel vibe today, thank you 😘)
Thank you Rupert, for your beautiful and eloquent rendering of the notion of dukkha: to judge and/or resist the moment as it presents itself to you right now is the underlying source of all suffering.
And thank you Joan, for so eloquently walking us through how the concept can be slippery (e.g. invoking it to justify another drink), paradoxical (e.g. impossible to get it wrong), manifest in a myriad of contexts ( e.g. meditation, raising a child, farming) and yet, by 'leaping clear of the many and the one', it is so "simple, simple, simple". Much love....
Good Morning Joan.
I love this! It is so uplifting and empowering.
Thank you for your illumination.
Sari
I love this😍
Hola ¡No no no Yes sí sí sí ,, No.
Tot és igual no passa res,, quasi res no passa res,,
y es que estem especialitzats a que ens passin coses. No sabem estar amb el quotidià, ens sembla intranscendent massa quotidià,, tenen que passar coses i, els imprevistos els que ens causen por els compromisos el pervenir son els nostres preferits
Tendim a pensar malament de lo que no entenen. hi ja m'imagino que veus això pensaràs que coi deu voler dir qui pot ser?
jo ni més ni menys més o menys com tu o l'altre un misteri més com tu o l'altre.
So yummy. All of this. Thank you for continuing to feed us so well.
Indeed Joan - the key point in my opinion being that we cannot, as you say, simply force a 'no' to become a 'yes' through will-power, and it is a lived 'yes' - not a spoken 'yes'....this 'yes' is a momentary perspective, and is as close as we can come to direct experiencing (although there will ALWAYS be some degree of interpretation of sensory stimuli, happening almost immediately as an integral part of the interplay between brain and sense organs - without this, we would not be able to perceive anything).
A striking piece - thanks as always....
Reading this after my morning shower, sitting in my brother’s favorite chair, in his humble home, with a favored cat snoozing on my lap. I am.
Joan, last week, I was in a dialogue where someone suggested saying yes to everything, just surrendering. As I considered it, I remembered times in my life when I said no that seemed right, aligned with who I was. I also imagined situations in the world today that I would not say yes to. Someone else said saying no was just protecting identity and a sense of control. I thought there could be truth in that, but, whether we say yes or no, we're not in control either way. Reading your words today is helpful to me, seeing that imposing a yes is saying no to your no. And, in Zen, "dualities are always conceptual, never actual." There is just what is happening. And awareness is always present to, and saying yes to, that.
Thanks, Dawn. A key point I was trying to make is that sometimes, as in the case of stopping a child in the moment from running out into the oncoming traffic, a ‘NO!’ is a totally healthy, instinctual move in a real-life situation. But often this healthy, instinctual response gets carried over into the psychological realm in defense of a mirage(my self image, the illusory separate self), and that’s the ‘no’ we’re talking about here—defending that mirage from something that, in this moment, is only an imaginary threat. "Situations in the world" or "What if my child were running out into the street?" when we're merely imagining them or thinking about them are like that. And the point isn't that we might not be moved to take action in response to world events, but we're simply acknowledging (saying yes) to the fact of their existence. This is how it is. Meeting the reality with awareness (love). That brings forth a noticeably different response from reacting with fear, anger, hate, etc.
It's true that the illusory separate self in not in control, and that's a very liberating realization, but at the same time, if we land on "there is no choice," that's not entirely right either. We can't ever fit reality into a concept ("free will" or "no free will"). Reality is more elusive, slipperier. We don't want to disempower ourselves with a concept. So what I found interesting in exploring this "practice" was the way it so quickly illuminated all the ways I was saying "no" to what is. Just seeing them is action enough. Awareness is the transformative power. 🙏
Yes, I can see that a "yes practice" could be illuminating and that just seeing one's tendencies is action enough. But in the world of yes and no, if we say no to one thing, we're saying yes to another, right?
Well, not really. That kind of misses the point. But hey, I wrote this piece simply because someone mentioned this in a Zoom meeting, and I was curious and tried it out, and was then moved to share what I found. I wasn't trying to recommend or advocate or push this practice in any way.
Beautiful, Joan! So clear and so simple. Much appreciated, much love.
Thank-you Joan as always for your inspiration. Your words have given me the space to notice how 'No' often governs my life. the last few days I now realise after an awful confrontation, that I became so earnestly embodied in No I didn't even see the simplicity of 'Yes' I could say a lot more but for now 'Yes' is the healing balm for the heal digging child ego. So Much appreciation for your wisdom Thank you Joan
What a wonderful way to start my morning: yes! Thank you Joan, love you!
This post resonates well with Michael Singer's THE SURRENDER EXPERIMENT.
And also, interestingly, with aspects of Jim Carrey's YES MAN.
I'm not familiar with either.
I know how much you've enjoyed delving into spiritual and nondual literature from basically everywhere, so you might find Singer's book interesting. Some people regard it as a modern classic in the world of spiritual literature. Here's the publisher's description (which is of course replete with marketing language; the actual book lacks that tone): "In The Surrender Experiment, Michael A. Singer tells the extraordinary story of what happened when, after a deep spiritual awakening, he decided to relinquish his personal fears and desires and simply let life unfold before him. Singer shares how this pivotal decision to embrace the flow of life led him to extraordinary success, sustained him through times of crisis, and allowed him to cultivate profound inner peace—whether as a young man pursuing a life of solitude in the woods, the founder of a thriving spiritual community in Florida, or the CEO of a billion-dollar medical software company. As he takes you through his grand experiment, Singer demonstrates how surrender is the key to a peaceful and harmonious life. His remarkable and unexpected personal experiences will challenge your deepest assumptions, teaching you how to stop making the outside world conform to your desires, let go of the need to control everything, and place your trust in life’s perfection."
As for YES MAN, it's a comedy where Jim Carrey plays a chronically frustrated and depressed man who accidentally stumbles into a self-help movement based on forcing yourself to say "yes" to absolutely any proposition or opportunity that crosses your path. Naturally, much chaos ensues for him, but in the end he has some amazing experiences and realizes the whole thing really has led him to a place of centeredness and authenticity that he couldn't have previously imagined. Not a bad movie overall. And it features Terence Stamp playing the leader of the semi-cult-like self-help movement, so that's a definite bonus.
Some dialogue from Stamp's character:
"You're dead, Carl. You say no to life, and therefore you're not living. You make up excuses to the people around you and to yourself. You're stuck in the same dead-end job you have been for years. You don't have a girlfriend, you don't have anything close to a girlfriend, and you lost the love of your life because she couldn't be with someone who didn't live theirs."