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Apr 12Liked by Joan Tollifson

Challenging and provocative. This brings the first of the noble truths to mind: the truth of suffering, and that it cannot be denied. And of course, the following three truths and the eight-fold path expound upon that. I have to say this makes me feel rather sad and hopeless that this is the way it is, and I wish I could feel, like you, that your pain and suffering has improved your life. Oh the other hand, I am reminded of a lyric from The Fantastiks - "Without a hurt, the heart is hollow." It's all very yin-yang to me, and as you say - it can't be pulled apart. Thanks Joan

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Hi Garrison. Regarding sad and hopeless: It doesn't mean things can't improve, at least apparently, from our point of view. Slavery was ended, women and blacks got the vote, gay marriage was legalized, I sobered up from alcoholic drinking, my cancer was cured, and so on. But every cure brings forth new problems, and there is no end to problems and conflicting interests and ideas. And maybe the end of hope (by which I don't mean hopelessness) is a great blessing. ❤️

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Apr 13Liked by Joan Tollifson

Absolutely! The end of hope is not hopelessness, but peace.

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Apr 12Liked by Joan Tollifson

An age old question answered with such clear reflection...wishing all who question this are able to see and feel this too🙏❣️

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Apr 12Liked by Joan Tollifson

Thank you Joan. So, so helpful for me.❤️

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Apr 12Liked by Joan Tollifson

Thank you. Maybe, it is one of de best of your last writings

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I think the most consequential, whine properly interpreted teaching in the Bible is Jesus’ request that we forgive people because we don’t know what we’re doing. Our efforts to wloving and kindly to often fail tragically short, but that effort to love ourselves is the

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I posted accidentally, to finish. Making the effort to awaken to our common desire to be happy and to love one another is the noblest way to live our lives.

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Yes, I hear Jesus saying exactly what I'm saying in this article: "Forgive them for they know not what they do." And, "Let the one who is without sin cast the first stone." I might question "making an effort" and "the noblest way to live our lives," but that might just be parsing words, and I do resonate with the spirit of what you say.

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Looking forward to the sequel: Why Good Things Happen.

Seriously -very much liked this writing, and the thoughts it has set running in my head. “The wound that doesn’t heal”. Glad to have heard that today.

Dies a mountaineer climb simply to get to the summit? Do we listen to a favourite song only to hear the last fading note?

Am I writing this comment with a mind-blowing conclusion in, er… mind?

Thanks anyway, Joan. Off to explore your stuff further now.

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Apr 13Liked by Joan Tollifson

‘nature and nurture are infinite’ is a brilliant rendition of ‘conditioned co-production’ or ptratitya samutpada. 👍🏻

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Apr 13Liked by Joan Tollifson

Superb as always Joan. The unfolding of what is, from a state of potential to that of manifestation...Much love and deep bows for sharing your insights so clearly.

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I deeply agree with your statement there is no Cosmic plan that deliberately designs bad experiences in our favor to wake us up. And I am convinced there is no such thing as a personal choice. Life is just happening without personal intention or purpose. But your statement "everything is grace if you see it as grace. And actually, even if we don't see it or can't see it yet, it's still grace" goes against that statement (I think) because grace implies there is "something" that has a purpose or intention. Where does grace come from when life just happens? Including hurricanes, volcanoes, tidal waves, earthquakes or viruses as you wrote. I would love to believe in grace because my life is hard, but I highly doubt thinking suffering is grace. I can understand the benefits of accepting life as it is, of course, but grace sounds like an intention, a plan. A personal proces. It has been my daily struggle and frustration for the past ten years trying to understand suffering is just suffering and does not have a purpose. How wonderful it would be if suffering was a process that would bring us closer to truth, ourselves, oneness, silence, god, the beloved, whatever you call it.

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My understanding is that both pleasure and suffering are grace. Grace is the "stepping back" into the knowing that whatever is happening is just so, whether enjoyable or horrible.

The "step back" reveals that all is already accepted - this can be checked out in immediate experience: I can't NOT have this experience because it has already happened; and the next, and the next, ad infinitum.

It is only the mind that puts a label on an already past experience - it takes time to tell oneself, "this is suffering" or "this is pleasure" - and then tries to strategize how to repeat the pleasant experiences or how to stop or avoid the unpleasant ones.

But when it is seen that it's all already OVER, GONE, one can relax into that knowing, and be at peace. This, I find, has, however, to be repeated. over and over: the falling back into the realization that it's all already accepted, over, done with.

And maybe there comes a day when there is no need to go through this process; I don't know.

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Apr 13·edited Apr 13Author

I don't see grace as coming from some outside force. Grace is in how we see, think about and respond to the difficulties in life. If we get cancer and see it as a terrible misfortune that has ruined our life, we will suffer an added layer of anguish on top of the actual pain and limitation involved. And in my experience, such events (I gave examples from my own life) are often the sources of wisdom, insight and compassion. They are often the grit that creates the pearl, the crack where the light gets in. They wake us up from false hope and illusory ideas and can open us to a deep letting go. Of course, that may not always be noticed.

I wouldn't suggest BELIEVING in grace. Belief inevitably turns to doubt. Nor am I suggesting telling ourselves over and over, "This is grace." That seems more like the kind of denial you describe yourself waking up from in the past ten years where we're trying to put some kind of positive gloss on painful things and deny that it hurts. That's just another form of resistance. I'm pointing to seeing through the stories that "this shouldn't be happening," seeing beyond the labels (like "pain" or "bad"), and waking up to the bare actuality, as it is, which includes not just the difficulty in this moment but also the beauty and wonder that is here. And when we experience pain as pure sensation, when we open to it completely, it's quite different than when we think about and resist it. Likewise, when we live with limitations without the story that they are ruining our life, we may discover great beauty in them. But this is an experiential discovery, not something to believe in or hope for.

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Apr 13Liked by Joan Tollifson

Thank you very much Joan ❤️

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Apr 13Liked by Joan Tollifson

Thank you for your kind writing! I always love the questions in Toni Packer's approach: "Can there just be that?" and "Is that possible?" or the farmer saying "Well, maybe" - that open-ness makes me feel alive.

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Apr 13Liked by Joan Tollifson

For me this hit the target: "[E]verything is grace when you see it as grace. And actually, even if we don’t or can’t yet see it, it’s still grace."

Thank you, Joan!

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Apr 13Liked by Joan Tollifson

Losing love is like a window in your heart. ~Paul Simon,

Graceland

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I see and feel this, as though you'd written this essay for me, Joan

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And I am listening to you on Waking Up, and Jonah Primo on you too. Your voice is a wonderful ear worm.

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Apr 14Liked by Joan Tollifson

Such a vexing question answered beautifully. For myself the key to peace has been the understanding that in the moment, things shouldn't be other than they are.

The only thing I will add is that I do have hope there is a teleos, and ultimate goodness, to it all. I've had far too many direct personal experiences that don't fit into a purely materialistic, indifferent universe, framework. Whatever this "ground of being" is, I've found it provides grace when needed, and is playful. I'm very thankful for that, and for your inspiring and graceful work. Namaste.

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Apr 14Liked by Joan Tollifson

Thanks again Joan. Right on target as usual. Always so simple and clear.

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Apr 15Liked by Joan Tollifson

Hildegard of Bengen said -

It's Heaven

All the way

To Heaven...

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